As we evolve as people and cultures our language also evolves. In today’s episode I explore how the language we use can either heal or harm ourselves and others and encourage all of us to start paying attention to the words that we use. When we do that we can proactively create a loving and caring world in an instant.
What’s in this episode for you:
A few examples to get your mind tuned into the power of words
How words are related to being the change
A gentle way to approach your exploration of words
Quote: An excerpt from Dumbledore talking in JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series.
Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.
Tools for change:
Start getting curious about the words you use and the words others use. Do you know what they mean or where they came from? Write them down, look them up in the dictionary or the urban dictionary to get a feel for them.
When you notice other people using words that spread more negativity than positivity, practice compassionately stepping into a conversation about it. “Hey, I just learned that that word originates here (fill in the blank). I’ve been using that word since high school and have never thought about what it actually refers to and the impact it may have. Have you ever had that experience?”
Pick up the talking piece:
What came up for you as you listened to this episode? I'd love to hear your experiences with any of the reflections and exercises. Send me an email at podcast@humconsulting.ca or leave a voicemail (click the voicemail button on the right).
Gratitude:
Circle of Change is recorded on lək̓ʷəŋən territories.
Our opening and closing music was created by the talented E-Rol Beats. You can find his creations at www.erolbeats.com
My fabulous podcast coach, Mary Chan of Organized Sound Productions, brought this podcast to life www.organizedsound.ca
Transcript: (Some words may not be accurately recorded. Please let us know if something seems off.)
Change begins from within. As easy as it is to look outside of ourselves and want the world to change, the truth is, it never will if we remain the same. This podcast was created for change-makers like you who want more love and connection in your community. Today you are going to hear stories that will inspire you, and also challenge you to be the change. We are going to go deep, my friend, so take a deep breath and settle in. My name is Ame-Lia Tamburrini - Welcome to the Circle of Change.
Ame-Lia Tamburrini (AT) 00:51 Hi, friend. Welcome to the first solo episode of Season 2. I love these intimate conversations with you, although I suppose it's me talking to you. But I do feel like you're right here with me. So, thank you for taking in these words. Speaking of words, this conversation is all about language. Language has been on my mind a lot lately both in terms of the language I use to describe my own life and also the language I use in my professional life, in particular the work that I'm doing in communities. To set the stage, I'm gonna read a short quote by one of my favourite authors and characters. And as I jump into this, feel free again to just close your eyes. Take a deep breath and presence yourself in our circle.
“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” And of course, that’s Albus Dumbledore in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. What J.K. Rowling is saying here is that our words have power to heal or cause harm. And I think they are the perfect thing to speak about in a podcast circle about being the change.
This year, I've had the pleasure of working with one client who has generously illuminated language that is still tied to colonial ways of being. So, here's an example. So, at one point, trees, plants, animals, they were all referred to as animate objects. She, he, our relatives, etc. And during colonization, this language was stricken from the vocabulary of settlers and such began this transition of our language referring to these things as inanimate objects. It and things.
So, immediately, there's a disconnect there. And I'm sure you can imagine how hard it would be for us to say drill into the earth, or cut down trees, or pave over the land without having great reverence if our language indicated to us that these were our relatives. A reference would be easier to give life to.
Another example I've been pondering is the word “engagement.” If you've worked at all with indigenous or First Nations Native American communities, you know that this word is contentious. It's also contentious in municipal and local government settings because for many, many years and still today in places, engagement was performed as a checkbox exercise. It often looked like a few emails or phone call attempts, but no conversation. Or it meant sitting and telling communities what was gonna happen, but not really offering those real opportunities to meaningfully influence or take ownership of the decision at hand.
And I'm not blaming anybody for this or talking about the reasons why this approach was taken. But for these reasons, engagement does have a weird vibe to it in many places. But if you've never experienced any of this or you don't get involved in community affairs, you may not have any emotional attachment to this word. There are also different definitions or meanings of that word. So, for me, being trained in community engagement, I have a particular meaning associated with it in terms of what that actually looks like on the ground. And that might not align with my client's expectation or the community's expectation of what that looks like.
Another example of language that is used without much thought are these catchphrases like I drank the Kool-Aid or a Soup Nazi made famous by Seinfeld. Before last week, I didn't know the history of I drank the Kool-Aid.
[5:00]
I was using it in this context of some self-development work I've been doing where the organization has often been deemed as having this cult-like vibe. And I was telling a friend about it and making this joking statement like “Oh, yeah, I drank the Kool-Aid and had some pretty profound transformations.”
Now, just side note here for self-awareness. When I reflect on that moment, I know that I made that statement to ensure that I wouldn’t be judged for being involved in this group. It was a way to protect myself because I called myself out before they did even if they weren't even thinking it, but it didn't need to be said and it came from a place of insecurity. So, when I talk about self-awareness, these are the things that I'm chatting about, the back of the story.
So, brilliantly, this friend, he stopped me and he gently told me the history of that phrase, which I'm gonna share with you now in case you also don't know it. But that phrase, it originates from a traumatic event that happened in 1978 where over 900 members of something called The People's Temple died after drinking Kool-Aid or Flavor Aid, which are fruit-flavoured crystals mixed with cyanide. And that act was a form of revolutionary suicide, although some people apparently drank the poisonous drink not knowing it was going to kill them.
When I heard this, oh, my gosh, I stopped in my tracks. What?! I had no idea that I had been bringing energy to this fear-based act unconsciously by saying these words out loud. Soup Nazi. I mean I still hear this phrase said light heartedly in many places. And again, just like I drank the Kool-Aid, it said without much thought to what it means to be a Nazi and what the energy is associated with that that we're projecting into the world.
You may hear this and think “Oh, my gosh, Ame-Lia, do we have to be so sensitive to every word we use?” My response is no. You don't have to be or do anything you don't want to be. And I know that as our levels of consciousness continue to expand, our language will also expand. It will evolve. It has been doing this forever, but the difference here is that we can become conscious of its evolution and proactively shape it so that the words that we use support the world that we wanna live in.
Since George Floyd’s death and the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement, we have become more aware of the power of our words. You know, light has been shined on common imagery and phrases that have been used for a very, very long time. So, for example, black or dark referring to evil, bad, or undesirable and white referring to pure, and good, and desirable, that image is in thousands of movies. And the wording, it's everywhere. Black sheep, that’s an outcast. White lies, that’s some sort of good acceptable life. It's insidious.
And regardless of what colour your skin is, you may or may not have noticed the impact of that. But conscious or unconscious of the impact, you were being shaped every moment those words or pictures appeared. They were creating a world of inequity, of an injustice and discrimination. So, when we become conscious of the words we use and start to get curious about them, we play a role in creating the world where togetherness, belonging, and safety are the norm for everybody and that is the world that I wanna live in. And it's not gonna happen without intention and action. This really is a way to fast track the evolution of our world.
So, as you go about your week, I encourage you to start paying attention to the words that you use and the words that other people use. Do you know what they mean, where they come from? Write them down and look ‘em up in the dictionary or the urban dictionary just to get a feel for them. And when someone says “hey, did you know that that word, phrase actually meant this to me or points to this thing that was really terrible”, the goal here is just to say “wow, thank you, I didn't know that” and then maybe you could share your own history of the word and what you thought it meant or say “hey, I've never even thought about what it actually meant.” This call a conversation.
It requires compassion, curiosity, and a willingness to expand. And we are all capable of that. Look, we are who we are and we each have our own experiences in life, a set of things that we think we know, and a certain language that we grew up with. And we need to be free to be that person. And when we open ourselves up to be more aware of the unintentional impact that we’re having, we get to contribute to bringing about a peaceful and loving world.
[10:00]
Sounds pretty awesome to me. I am sending so much love to you for this journey of self-discovery and learning about the power of words. It is going to be so cool to see how we are all speaking 10 to 20 years from now. Before I head out, if you haven't already, please join me on Wednesdays on LinkedIn, Instagram, and YouTube for a weekly hit of inspiration. I want as many people as possible, 17% of the world to be exact, to have the skills, the awareness, and inspiration to be the change the world is asking for. So, thank you for being part of that percentage. Every single person matters. So, go check the videos out.
Next week, on the Circle of Change, we're joined by two amazing leaders. These two women are gonna talk about spirituality in the workplace. And I think this is one of our juiciest conversations yet about leadership. So, please join us. I think you will forever change how you see yourself as a leader and the skills that you really wanna start honing now to be the change in the world. It's an amazing conversation. Thanks so much for joining me. We'll chat with you next week.
I'm now passing the talking piece to you. If you feel called to put your voice in this circle, please head to www.humconsulting.ca/podcast and share your story there. I cannot wait to hear what has come up for you as you have listened to what has been shared here today.
I wish you love and joy beyond your wildest imagination. Thank you so much for being here in the Circle of Change.
I also want to express my gratitude to the following peeps: Circle of Change is recorded on the Lekwungen territory and I am so grateful to live on this land. Our opening and closing music was created by the talented E.Rol Beats. You can find his creations at erolbeats.com. And special thanks to my coach, Mary Chan of Organized Sound Productions for bringing this podcast to life.
Until next time, Ciao.